Flying, snoring and arriving back in France.

January 16, 2011

2am Perth Time 06/01/2011  So I departed Australia after an amazing 2 months spent with family and friends and once again embarked on a journey with an uncertain future. Now don’t get me wrong I love flying, on skis that is, but when it comes to flying with an airline of competitively priced choice, thats a different story.  We would all love the convenience of first-class upgrades, fresh oysters and celebratory champagne on arrival but to the economy traveller the only thing that comes to mind is sardines, in a tin roughly proportioned in the shape of an Airbus A380. 

As with all flights, the shape and size of the counterparts on your aisle is of utmost importance, for example a young attractive female with an honest smile or a big, fat snoring bastard who drools and smells, I know which one I would choose. Unfortunately this time I didn’t have the choice and was lumped with both for an arduous 6 hour flight. Thankfully the attractive young female was the cushion between me and the fat guy and though he snored from before take-off till after landing and my headphones which pumped my music at full pelt, were barely audible above his dulsit drones her smiles where worth the painful snoring.  Who am I kidding, no smiles are worth having to listen to someone snore for six full hours, and although she was beautiful, it was just lucky that she was between me and the fat guy as to stop me from strangling him.

09am Singapore Time 06/01/2011 After enduring this painful experience I arrived at my stopover destination of Singapore. A lovely airport indeed but also a place designed to allow you to spend your six hour stopover walking from one end to the other with a massive array of mind numbing entertainment options such as an indoor butterfly garden, smoking rooms, perfumeries and a TV lounge. I decided to sleep, and then walk and then sleep in a different location and then walk. finally after six hours this sleep, walk pattern was broken by a 15 hour flight to London.

1pm Singapore Time 06/01/2011  Fortunately for whoever is reading, this flight was fairly uneventful, asides from the initial fear of being sat next to a couple with an 11 month old child but in all fairness he never wept, screamed, cried or pooed as far as I could smell.  I sleep, I watch TV, I sleep.

07pm London Time 06/01/2011 Winner, winner, chicken dinner!! I arrive in London withought a hitch, was unable to exchange money at a place that said Money Exchange, withdraw more cash than I needed and headed for my overnight hotel.

09am 07/01/2011 I got up, Blah blah blah, I got my flight to Geneva, blah blah blah,

05pm Morzine Time 07/01/2011  I arrived in Switzerland, spent 2 and half hours on a one hour drive and  I was back in France………….THANK FUCK for that, 48 hours in transit and as usual treated to a lovely warm welcome by the people I love in the place I love….. It’s good to be home, even if it is only for a couple of weeks….. now all I need to do is psyche myself up for work tomorrow.


3 Responses to “Flying, snoring and arriving back in France.”

  1. Jonny Hopper said

    Stand-by for obscene comments.

    Glad you got there safe my man

  2. AeRee said

    Oh for attractive young ladies with beautiful smiles, babies that don’t shit or cry & being able to sleep in uncomfortable airport chairs…can’t wait for Part 2!

  3. cazza said

    What an epic journey, 48 hours of travelling .. now you deserve some fun!! Sure you’ll find some somewhere, knowing you!!

    Cazza x

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